Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Secret Ingredients

being another dubious sub-mission for players of 40K who field against my Genestealer Cult

Yours is a task force set by the Ordo Sanitorum to inspect Manufactorae and production facilities throughout this segment, ostensibly to ensure good hygiene and safety for workers and consumers.  A tedious ruse! since every Imperial Citizen accepts that life is cheap and the Emperor keeps the Faithful safe from mishap and disease...

Your actual mission is to discover the last 4 of the 27 secret ingredients of Taint Cola Fizzy Drink, so that they may be analyzed and so that Imperial Agents may synthesize key ones to improve the generic state-owned brand to drinkability. As it stands, the un-purchased bulk of millions of gallons is used as a somewhat  insipid cleaning agent in AM field hospitals (it's called Dr. Imperator).  These are the infamous Brown Barges, moving sulkily from planet to planet peddling refreshing beverages no one wants, to deposit them finally in zones of strife to wash away blood and leave only a sticky film and an unpleasant smell behind.

The Taint Cola Company player places 4 objective markers anywhere on the board. At the start of your turn, for every model in a scoring unit that touches the marker, roll a d6 die. For any model equipped with an auspex or marker lights or the equivalent, roll an additional die. Any 1's on the die provide you with a victory point, assuming the unit retreats off a table edge (a vehicle may be used). If that unit is destroyed, the Taint Cola player gains those Victory Points, instead.

For every Victory Point contested in this way, the Taint Cola player may place/deploy a single Genestealer in cover within 12" of the Objective Marker on the following turn, and it may charge and assault that turn and counts as a unit for scoring purposes.

These are in addition to normal scoring and mission rules, since it's my belief that insanely complicated is better.

that's all.

Monday, April 27, 2015

My Philosophy on 40K

I don't want to know about Primarchs - I want to know about Rogue Traders.  Maybe Captains. Delaque Spook dealers. Individual Sisters of Battle. The Cockney Ork bores me to tears (in fact I think the Orc is one thing Steve Jackson did well in the LoTR).

I don't want to see Knights, I want to see the Mechanicus Adepts that maintain their knee-servos and strike the Runes of Supplication.

I prefer Pit Slaves and Guilders and Outcast Hive Gangers. Could Brakkar the Avenger and some Ratskins take on some Space Wolves?  Wouldn't it be fun to sort it out?

I'm procrastinating with the table.  I need to sort out a way to get the MDF or plywood to the house. I guess I just need to bite the bullet and tie one on.

More Classic Genestealers for the Cult

 The Taint Cola Company (my Genestealer Cult) is coming along at a good clip, now I've taken the first steps.  I looked into some hybrids on eBay ($$$/£££), but I remembered I have some Mantic infected mutants for just this porpoise. They have little pin-heads, and maybe need more arms but I will sort it out.

Put the 4x4 legs on the table - measure twice and cut once because I evidently came up about 3/4 of an inch short on one leg.  The lumber for the table is warped pretty badly so it's going to take some fretting about; maybe this is why it seemed wobbly.  I got it stable and mostly level although it looks twisted, somehow. It will be a table fit for fighting about heresy and dissent and corruption on, for certain!

The legs are 40 inches, so it probably will come to about 43-45 once it's all set up. Good for keeping wandering fingers/tails away and your back from needing interventions.

Kludged together some Spore vents and tentacle/maw towers. This must have all come from the Macragge set, since I have some Termagants/Hormagaunts, for some reason.  It's funny once you start playing a few different armies and building things for them, the whole world starts to look like hobby material.  I got a plan for this pumpkin stalk that would make you lose 1d8 SAN...

These were at Lowe's - paint drip catchers, but they will probably be turned into fortified Heavy Weapons nests.  A whole bunch of wood scraps are going to be scatter terrain tonight or tomorrow, too.  Not to mention all the produce container pillboxes!  These Taint Cola folks tithe dutifully, and are good about giving the PDF regiments free samples, but they don't like locals prodding around the works, if you get my drift.  So they are going to need lots of murderholes, steamy tunnels, vents, pipes, and pumps.  I figured out a do-able way to turn old wood into stone work with the Dremel and will try to post results as they arrive on the scene.

Taint Cola will be as much like Mountain Dew Sangrita Blast as I can make it without violating good sense and IP. Did I tell you that I dream of it? That it's hallucinatory color catches the Octarine particles just so, and it's intoxicating flavor gets me in touch with the Hivemind in a way that is ecstatically transcendent?

The web site says that a second release will come soon, and that bottles of this Extra-Heavenly Citrus-and-Laudanum-Flavoured Nectar are available for your consumption in a convenient vendor bear you!!!  It's like drinking from Nepenthe itself!  JOIN THE OVERMIND - DRINK TAINT!

COMING SOON, SUMMER 2015: TAINT SPOOK, TAINT PSYKO, and (limited release) TAINT BLU KALMA. Visit the  Holonet Site for details!

I have the urge to purchase some Gargoyles and a Harpy.  Maybe for my birthday.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Taint Cola Company

Brood Brothers (maybe Artizan Panzergrenadiers w/Masks but the bases are obscured)  - they are wonderfully chunky models and remind me of the old days, somehow.  I realize in the light of the monitor that I am a sloppy painter, but enthusiastic like a Genestealer's Embrace and Kiss.

They're flanked by The Beloved Cousins - a unit of 6 Genestealers. I tried to recall the 1993 PC game of which I was so fond and for which I chose to forsake people and spend a thousand years on Overwatch during the Summer of '94 and the antagonists of which still frankly make my heart beat quickly.  Within the Space Hulk 2012 box (or whatever year it was...) there are dozens more, dozing in stasis, and a Broodlord on a dramatic base.  All that is needed is a kitbashed baldy Magus to guide them, a couple of 2nd and 3rd generation hybrids (my hideously mutated 3rd edition Catachans!), a Limousine, a delivery truck, and I will say that the IG soldiers of whatever crummy Hive Planet these live on so love the taste of TAINT Cola ("if it taint Taint, taint worth drinkin'!") that they enthusiastically work to keep the flow flowing.  MMMMM flow.

There comes a point where no more ink wash is needed.

below is where I started, so all in all a good night's work. I expect the next 2 dozen Genestealers or so will go somewhat quicker and have a couple iterations of better wuality.  Wuality control is lacking at the TAINT plant, and there are bound to be random adulterants and intoxicants in every 13 ounce bottle!  Maybe some Spook, or some Psycho! Or variant gene-patterns and meme-inducers!

Now, Bless Your Weapons and Go
The Emperor Has Dictated Your Squad's Weaponry

Friday, April 24, 2015

Secret Imperial Sub-missions

Thinking about Mordheim, Necromunda, 7th Edition, and how to increase laffs and thereby reduce the grimdarkness/laffs ratio in my games.  Don’t get me wrong, I like skulls, dark ink washes, and crosshatching like any good imperial citizen, but Rogue Trader and the earlier games were subversive and hilarious and recent games are maybe mechanically smoother but almost entirely devoid of humor.  Thatcher-era punk commentary vs. internet-enabled ultra-capitalism and whatnot.  I dunno, it might be worth a blog-post someday…

There were once Fat Space Marines.

Anyhow, these are extra touches to add to Imperial forces; kind of my usual selection.  Where included, Civilians have 1 Wound, 3 Toughness, and no saves unless they Go To Ground or are in cover (which they are advised to seek out as they flee across the battlefield).  Dissidents might have an autopistol, Mutants might have Mastery Level 1 powers drawn at random (and optionally add 1 Mastery point to BOTH sides).  The idea is to add some human sensibilities to the thing.

I have an idea that my Genestealer Cult army might be a Carbonated Cola distributor, pushing fizzy tainted drinks onto an unsuspecting and over-weight Hive population, tithing to the Imperial Coffers dutifully with one eye to space, awaiting the Shadow of the Hiveships.

1)      Castigate this Scum!
a.       Several of these nobles and commoners are known to harbor tainted genes and philosophies.  Eradicate identified targets, and root out heresy and put it to cleansing flame.  Gain 1 victory point for each Civilian casualty you inflict; the models are under the other player’s control.  They may not attach to any units, but may be transported provided there is sufficient space.
b.      The civilians are split evenly before deployment; they may not deploy within your or your opponent’s deployment zone.  Take turns deploying each civilian model in turn.
c.       If a Civilian model reaches a table edge, remove it.  You lose 1 victory point, in this case.  You may choose to lose another, if this happens, and deploy d3 Civilian models in an unoccupied building or terrain piece – this scum has been found out and are making a run for it!
d.      Note that you may reach 0 Victory Points under these conditions but you may never earn less than 0 regardless of the number of escapees.
2)      The Burden of Mercy
a.       An order from above inexplicably calls for the safety and protection of the Civilians in this area.  The opponent deploys d6 Civilian models, which cannot start in your deployment zone but may deploy in his or hers, and may not be deployed within 12 inches of any of his or her units.  You control them, and they start in Cover.
b.      During your movement phase, move these models 2d6 inches as you wish.  They may join your infantry units or be transported in vehicles if there is sufficient space – however they use the unit’s movement in that case.
c.       If they reach your table edge, or they are alive and in cover at the end of the game, then gain 1 Victory Point
d.      If they are killed by the enemy, then lose 1 Victory Point, and then spawn d3 more within the enemy’s deployment zone  but not within 12’ of any enemy units, and they arrive in cover as if they had gone to ground.
3)      Purify These Zones
a.       Each objective marker must be hit with a flamer template or a shot from a melta- or plasma-based weapon.  Each marker has 2 Wounds, Toughness 6 and you may claim 1 Victory Point for each wound you cause.  If you reduce the objective to 0 wounds, it explodes with a large blast radius, and each model under the template takes a S6 AP5 hit, and further you lose 1 Victory Point!  Don’t hold the trigger down for too long.  A single shot combi-flamer pod may be purchased for 15 points per model.

One Squad is Insufficient.

4)      The Taint of Heresy
a.       This zone is rife with Intolerable Dissent.  Your opponent distributes d6 Civilians wherever he or she wishes.  You must identify Civilian models as Heretics, Muties, or Dissidents!  Any unit with a model bearing an Auspex or Psyocculum may enter a building or terrain model, and by doing so identifies 1d3 Civilians that immediately flee toward the nearest table edge – 1d6 inches immediately, and then 2d6 during the opponents’ movement phase.  If a unit so equipped touches the base of any Civilian models, they will be targets on a d6 roll of 5 or 6, and can be eliminated for 1 Victory Point each.  If any targets remain on the board at the end of the game, Lose 1 Victory Point.  For each unexplored building, the opponent receives a Victory Point on a d6 roll of 3+.  A unit or character may purchase an Auspex for 20 points, and a character may purchase a psyocculum for  30 points.
5)      Enforced Embargo!
a.       The opponent nominates 3 enemy units or vehicles – those units or vehicles are suspected of bearing Contraband.  Perhaps a shipment of Spook, or Capito-Communist Pamphlets, or even Anadentist Tracts.  If the unit or vehicle is destroyed or retreats off the opponent’s table edge, then roll a d6.  The first will be the target on a 6, the second on 5+, and the third on 4+.  Only one unit or vehicle will bear the Contraband, and for identifying  the target and eliminating it you gain d3 Victory Points.  If you fail in this critical mission, your opponent gains 2 Victory Points at the end of the game.

The soda will be called TAINT.  If it tain’t TAINT don’t drink it!  Now to make up a little poster: DRINK TAINT NOW

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Game Board Ideas - Wretched Hab-Hives

I do more thinking about this game board than I will ever likely take any action on

But I list some goals just for SnG

0) made of modular and "reversible" dimensional lumber as a base. Meaning many parts, easy to turn and e.g. walls can be used as floors or platforms interchangeably. You can flip 'em over and they can work that way, or put 'en on their sides and get something from that configuration.
1) a scad of tin shacks (probably based with CD's since that's pretty cheap). In 7th edition, these could be destroy-able, hide objectives, and break up LOS and gives me an excuse to paint up some wretched hive dwellers and maybe make some rules up!
2) 35-40 inch legs for the table
3) a well-define 4x4 area for Kill Team/Inq/Necromunda
4) The terrain wants to be stackable - I want height and blocking of LOS for lots of movement in games 
5) I identify strongly with the blue/green/red studio terrain of the original Necromunda books, with lots of weathering.  That stuff was made to showcase the models, sure.  Also, I want it to fit with my basing scheme (mostly sand, but I am transitioning down the line to stone blocks and pipes and wires AND  sand; kind of a Sandy Techno Ruins. Necromunda was kind of a desolate waste on the outside of the hive spires, but I want this to be a place overcrowded with life and able to support it, just barely.
6) The bigger terrain wants stone and scratch built and medieval with gewgaws and whirly gubbins, and of course I want to slather everything with anti-Xeno and anti-Mutie and anti-Heretic propaganda
7) Some objective markers; some scratch built and some Armorcast stuff might be fun
8) For the Genestealer Cult, it has some fortifications - tunnels and Sapper mines.   Definitely needs to fit the rest but show some scary 'Nid influence. Like Necromunda stuff, but with tentacles and maws and pods and such
9) lots of vents and smoke stacks and steam and just everything slick with muck, sand, and efflua. Tentacles here and there. The world ought to be fought over and show signs of imminent Exterminatus In Extremis, but still have enough resources to be worth fighting for.   Maybe we just need to ship in human Citizens, Servo-Slaves, and docile, trusted Xenos and abhumans once we clear out all the infected heretic scum.
10) overcrowded with life and shows signs of habitation and use. Vegetation patches, maybe.  Even scum needs to toil in the work-farms.  I like the idea of plastic fish tank vegetation, for some reason.
11) standard Imperial motifs worked in. Skulls. Aquila. It's Games Workshop, after all.

I'll break these down later. The weather is nice and the mommy and kid are at Yoga and I don't have much time before work. I have an idea for wooden bulkheads that work in a modular fashion like the original  plastic stuff but with more heft and wood screws ;)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Further Works in Progress - Sisters and Genestealer Cult

Pictured is an evening's work, maybe three hours or so of doodling around, slapping down coats and wrecking brushes. I don't know.  I'm happy with the progress on Yarrick, the dregs of my old Goliath set (upper left), the various retinue models (including the Sister Hospitaller, top leftish).  My group needs non-Imperial troops, and I'm itching to try some 'Nids, so I thought a Genestealer cult would make a transition nicely so's I can use some of my IG as Traitors.

Laid down a base coat of classic Space Hulk PC 1993 computer game dark blue/GS purple as a test scheme.   A dry brush of light gray may go well to bump out the highlights.  The bottom right squad is maybe some Copplestone Casting WWII Panzer Grenadiers, with a nice dark blue base.  They're going to be my front and center Genestealer Cultists, so I think it's going to go in a different direction than my usual army, namely NOT the pictured gray/red/tarnished silver scheme I usually use to keep my Imperial troops distinguished.
Laid down a couple of coats of tarnished boltgun metal for the Immolator, which feels nice.  It got a base of Tamiya German Gray instead of regular primer, which I realized wouldn't work back in the day, but I'm going to roll with it and weather the bajeesus out of it and hope my sloppy, rambling, sluggardly, heretical painting will go well from here and not incur Yarrick's further disapproval.
I like the Genestealer Cult more and more, and that 6th edition codex available online provides some nice weird rules (namely the fortifications and the self-destruct stuff) that ought to take my cohort of gamers by surprise.  And I can field my Leman Russ, sentinels, and cadians, and it gives me a chance to use 'nids as an ally pretty easily.  Sort of a Inner Circle of blue 'stealers, hybrids (my 3rd edition hideous catachans!) and a Magus, coupled with my Termagaunts, spore vents, and spore clouds (spore clouds are frakking easy to kludge together, BTW remind me to bodge some ping pong balls together on 25mm bases to explain what I mean...)

Friday, April 10, 2015

Inquisitor Inquisitas Inquisitoris

I skipped some editions.  My buddy tells me I had the 2nd edition boxed set, so I had Rogue Trader, 2, snippets of 3rd, 5, and now 7.  I had Macragge and the other boxed set, so maybe 4 and 5.  I don't know.

But things change a good deal.  I got a look at the most recent Inquisition thing, and I lament the loss of purchasable Orbital Strike, even though Karamazov still has it and it turns up as a random Warlord Trait.  It might could help against all the Super Heavies I see these days.

But, next to that I saw that the Ordo Malleus/Hereticus/Xenos stuff is fleshed out into separate strains, which I suppose is kind of cool.  They ditched the mention of the Ordo Sepulturum - to my mind a creepy favorite.  I guess zombies are everywhere these days and nobody's going to purchase zombies as enemies to field against towering men and aliens in powered suits of artificier armour (but they bring a rush of fear to the Necromunda and Inq28 people, I bet).

Anyways, I was mulling over some options for Kill Team on Sunday with the BnB40K guys, and they're all going to have these Skitarii and Knights and such, so I was thinking about some good options.  My sisters and these Inquisitors aren't going to stand up long.  Interestingly, I think the Malleus flavored inquisitor is a total cheesy badass.  The Daemonblade is going to carve some stuff up - 2 rolls on the chart and none end up being good for anybody.

A problem might be that I can only kitbash and convert so many models to paint and never actually paint them, if you get my meaning.  But it does make one think about having a couple different Inquisitors in the pot and ready to go when the need arises.  The Warlord Traits are actually all pretty cool for a variety of situations.

Also, the sisters are just about done.  I need to base some and add some arco-flails to about 9 hastily converted WFB flagellants, and of course paint Celestine of which I am sore afraid.

Beer and Bolters Campaign

Thinking about the


I think I only really have a bout 3-4K total of mostly Imperial Armies stuff

a couple of quirky characters and a handful of squads

It's a good thing the points limits are fairly low to start or some of these cats'd leave me eating dust